“Transition or die” pressure
Across the stories you supplied, the same sentence is repeated to teenagers: “40 % of trans kids kill themselves if they don’t transition.” One detrans man says this warning was drilled into him so hard that it felt like a threat: “It sure didn’t feel like I had a choice … they just throw hormones at you.” – SnooCompliments8762 source [citation:cd92f0c9-07e0-44ac-8693-c21486ff33ad]. The statistic is used to shut down questions and make medical steps feel unavoidable.
Adults repeating the line “Do you want a dead son or an alive daughter?”
Several posters remember teachers or counsellors using this exact phrase. One detrans woman writes: “Yes, the teachers and guidance office DO say ‘do you want a dead ____ or alive ____’.” – Hot_Ad_2492 source [citation:dcb2aa88-59e7-47ca-af0e-779f83f708da]. When authority figures frame the choice as death versus transition, the child hears that refusing hormones equals choosing death.
The statistic stays near 40 % even after medical transition
The same poster points to follow-up studies: “the suicide rate … STAYS about 40 % even after social and medical transition.” – Hot_Ad_2492 source [citation:dcb2aa88-59e7-47ca-af0e-779f83f708da]. Detransitioners underline this to show the promise of “life-saving” treatment does not hold up, yet the claim keeps being repeated.
Some activists allegedly want the tragedy to happen
One detrans man takes the accusation further, saying certain campaigners see a completed suicide as useful evidence: “a lot of these activists want kids to end their own life, that way they can treat them as a martyr.” – bradx220 source [citation:362e24f4-89b7-461d-947e-9d8db35c9bbf]. He calls this “the most selfish, awful, self-centred thing they do on a wide scale.”
Feeling there was no right to exist as a feminine man
Another detrans man explains that homophobia and rigid gender rules pushed him toward surgery: “I didn’t have a right to exist as myself … Transition, sadly … didn’t feel like a free choice.” – NoemiePretzelDuchess source [citation:0a7cb668-e1a1-49af-a473-3bb31f055298]. Once again, the belief that non-conformity leads to death made transition feel compulsory.
Taken together, these accounts do not claim every trans person endorses suicide rhetoric, but they describe a pattern inside some activist spaces: repeat the 40 % figure, remove safer therapeutic options, and present medical transition as the only escape from an inevitable death. Detransitioners who lived through this pressure want it recognised as coercive and dangerous.